Dear Readers: To mark my final week of publishing “Ask Amy”, I have launched the Ask Amy Wayback machine and will be launching some favorite previously published Q&As.
Here is my very first column, published in July 2003.
Dear Amy: I have a major problem that arose just before my wedding in Chicago. Children. I don’t blame the marriage. It was at our invitation: Adult Ceremony Adult Reception. We hired a nanny to take care of anyone who couldn’t find a sitter.
Everyone respected our wishes and made alternative plans for their children, except for one person: my mother’s brother from Los Angeles.
At 7 years old. I groaned at the idea of placing the child with Nanny service.
I received an email from a cousin (the 21 year old’s brother) saying they were upset that the little child was excluded. Mom feels obligated to have a child at the reception.
We – the bride and groom, SAY NO!!!!! My fiancé’s brother’s children don’t come, as do dozens of little cousins. We cannot make an exception for a child!!! Besides, we don’t want children there!
Are we wrong about how we feel about children? And my mother ? She fears that all this will cause a terrible rift between her and her brother.
I’m saying He’s the one causing the breakup, not her. He does not respect our WISHES. We will not bend and leave it at the reception.
If they show up with him, do we have the right to ask them to leave? We will be so angry!
Please, please, please help me.
-Riana
Dear Riana: The use of capital letters and the strange writing style of telegrams are the first clue that Bride is almost out of rock.
I imagine it now: “With this ring, I… WHO LEFT THIS CHILD HERE!!
You need to take a relax pill before Bridezilla strikes again.
You have made your wishes known. Your guests must respect them.
But if they don’t, don’t add to their rudeness by trampling on small villages and throwing tongues of fire.
I urge you not to give this matter an extra moment of attention, because if you are not careful, this part will completely take over the day.
You know, so many things that happen on your wedding day are out of your control, and whether the best man gets too drunk, your new mother-in-law slips on the dance floor, or the cake falls off its pedestal, s Please accept the day, the guests, your new husband and your new life.
You can deal with your uncle later, although retaliation against 7 year olds is NOT allowed, even from raging brides.
You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.
