Dear Eric: I have a lot of food allergies and sensitivities that include articles that do not have to be claimed as allergens by the CDC / FDA on the ingredient lists. One of the most frustrating things on this subject is to try to explain my very boring plate of simple lettuce without dressing which is often the only reliable element on a menu that I can order when I eat with friends / acquaintances.
The worst symptom that occurs if I eat bad food is anaphylaxis; The most common and serious symptom is frequent and serious migraines that I largely control through a very limited diet. The migraines are always preceded by losing my vision essentially for an hour during the phase will have, and once left untreated, can become quite bad.
In addition, I am on medication for depression, so these do not always mix with other drugs such as migraine life-rescue drugs. So avoiding triggers is my best option.
I generally avoid social rallies to prevent people from the front and ask me if the lettuce usually withering is all that I eat (I like a good steak and potatoes in a jacket distributed as much as the next person, I cannot believe that the way the cook will prepare it will not trigger a migraine.). In fact, when I have lunch with colleagues, I always refuse to order unless I know that the place has reliably food that will not trigger problems.
I feel frequently or I feel as if I do a lot of food problems, which is why I avoid food gatherings as much as possible. If I have fun and ignore my food needs, I become horribly ill. If I eat what is certain, there are invariably a lot of annoying questions about the reasons why I do not eat, and I must defend my public food choices with the response of “strange allergies and I do not need to need life medications today”. I don’t know what is the best approach here.
– Confused migrant
Dear migraine: deprive yourself of food you want and the company seems to me to be the worst option. So let’s see the solutions that allow you to feel good while keeping the social oddity at a distance. People tend to have a lot of opinions on what others eat, unfortunately. But you will be useful to crop the way you think of these interactions. Your allergies can be bizarre for others (or even for you), but you don’t have to operate in their story on you.
In response to invasive questions, try these scripts:
Short and sweet: “doctor’s orders”.
Spicy and sassy: “There are surely more interesting things for us to talk about than what is on my plate.”
Clais and Sain: “I’m happy; don’t worry.”
I know it’s boring to get these questions, but try to work on your answers less like a defense and more as a personal choice. You can be helpless for allergies, but you have an agency on what you choose to share. You don’t make a big problem here; It seems that you were clear and even too accommodating when browsing public events. Sometimes, with plates and with conversations, the less it is more.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas to eric@askinderic.com or Po Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him Instagram and register for his weekly newsletter to Rercthomas.com.)
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