Internet Defends Woman’s Choice to Deny Pregnant Guest Birthday Cake

Are there limits to generosity when it comes to food?

This was a much-discussed question in a viral Reddit forum post, “Am I the A******?” by u/Unhappy-Marzipan7911. In it, the original poster (OP) described what happened at her birthday party when a pregnant guest left with food from her barbecue before she had eaten, leading to the ‘OP to deny him any birthday cake.

“My birthday was yesterday and my husband invited his best friend Matt and his best friend’s pregnant girlfriend Jane to a barbecue,” the OP wrote. I spent about $90 on hamburgers and hot dogs. »

The OP explained that she and her cadet were not hungry when the food was ready and chose to continue swimming until they were ready to eat. Once they finally went to get some food from the grill, her husband, Matt, and Jane were all gone, with all the food.

“I call my husband and ask him where all the food is, and he told me it should be on the grill. I tell him it’s all gone,” she wrote. “There was a long pause before leaving, ‘Jane asked if she could take some for the leftovers, but I didn’t think she would take all of it.’ He then told me that there were at least eight hamburgers and ten hot dogs left.”

After realizing Jane had taken the food, the OP said she was angry. Then, 45 minutes later, Jane reappeared with her children for birthday cake.

“I tell Jane that her kids can (eat the cake) but she can’t,” the OP wrote. “She asked me why, and I said, ‘I’m pretty sure you ate a lot since you took off with my entire barbecue dinner before my son and I could eat anything.'”

Was the OP right?

The comments overwhelmingly supported the OP in refusing the birthday cake.

“Who leaves a party with all the leftovers and then has the nerve to come back for more?!” one person wrote.

“You spent all that money, cooked for a crowd and (she) took it all? It’s totally okay to refuse her cake after that,” another commenter wrote. “There may be a misunderstanding.”

Relationship expert and life coach Nicole Moore said News week that perhaps there is more to tell.

“The original poster probably came to the correct conclusion that the pregnant woman had bagged up all the leftover food and taken it while no one was watching her to make sure no one stopped her, but the fact is that the “The original poster had no direct evidence,” she said.

“If you don’t have verifiable evidence and you act maliciously, it’s too easy for the alleged perpetrator to not even feel guilty about their behavior because they are so focused on you doing something to them. wrong.”

Image of a pregnant woman sitting on a sofa, holding her belly. A Reddit post went viral after a woman denied a pregnant guest some of her birthday cake.

eternalcreative/Getty Images

Moore said things could have been handled differently with open communication.

“She could have said something like, ‘I have to be honest, part of me doesn’t even want to give you a piece of this cake because I feel upset that you took so much food home,'” Moore said. “’Next time, could you ask someone about the leftover situation first and get confirmation before you take all the food home?’”

Because of this malicious act, Moore said Jane was less likely to understand why the OP was upset. However, there are some things Jane could have done differently, and the fact that she is pregnant does not excuse her behavior.

“By not communicating her request for the leftovers and simply taking them, the pregnant woman made herself look extremely guilty and like she was hiding something,” Moore said. “In general, it is good practice to be attentive to pregnant women and their needs, especially when it comes to food, but in this case, the pregnant woman was not starving; she was hoarding food.”

News week contacted u/Unhappy-Marzipan7911 for comment via Reddit.