And not just any cake. A bear-shaped cake. And not just any bakery. Specifically, Deisings Bakery & Restaurant in Kingston, New York.
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Let’s rewind a week: on the June 2 episode of his HBO show, Last week, tonight, Oliver announced that the show had purchased the contents of a Red Lobster restaurant in Kingston amid the company’s recent bankruptcy filing. They rebuilt the restaurant inside his studio and served only Cheddar Bay Biscuits, which the restaurant is known for.
It turns out that Eric Deising, the owner of Deisings, had his eye on this equipment. He stuck a note on the front door of Red Lobster asking if he could buy some of the equipment.
“I need a 36-inch flattop grill/oven and a commercial kitchen convection oven if you have one,” he wrote, according to Westchester’s News 12.
“I got into this because I was looking for a piece of equipment,” Deising told News 12. “If you don’t need it – because I don’t think you need it for cookies – let me know”, he added: addressing Olivier.
Oliver replied, “Okay, first of all, with all due respect, if you wanted some of that Red Lobster’s gear, leaving a note on the door is a weird way to get it.” The restaurant has just closed. It’s like going to a cemetery and leaving a note on a headstone that says, “Hey, can I have your socks?” »
During the news segment, Deising was shown watching Last week tonight on his cell phone, and the HBO host took the opportunity to make a joke on his own show. “I love that he watches our show the same way everyone else does: on the phone in the middle of a work day, without even a trace of pleasure on his face,” he joked .
He added that a spokesperson for neighboring Ulster was not too happy with him either.
“If he bought everything in Kingston, he has nothing because Red Lobster is in the Town of Ulster,” a spokesperson for the Town of Ulster Supervisor told News 12.
Oliver’s response: “Let me just say that I sincerely apologize, although in my defense I’m not the only one who thought Red Lobster was in Kingston because you know who else had it do ? Google Maps, Yelp, Facebook, the Red Lobster website, and even, by the way, the Ulster County tourism website. I apologize nonetheless. I certainly wouldn’t want to deprive you of the great honor of owning a closed Red Lobster.
Oliver also noted that local news highlighted his history of “fights” with various entities, including the town of Danbury, Connecticut, which ultimately resulted in a sewage plant being named after him. The local reporter insinuated that the Danbury fight was fake.
“Okay, first of all, it wasn’t a fake fight,” Oliver protested. It was the realest fight of my life. Also, I started this fight with Danbury in the middle of the pandemic, and it was a very strange time. Some of us have taken up cross stitching. Some entered Animal crossing. And yes, some of us fought with a town in Connecticut, only to show up there wearing the hazmat suit of Contagion However, to dedicate a sewage treatment plant to our memory, it is worth pointing out that during lockdown I also bought an erotic rat painting from 1992, sponsored a marble racing league and sexually harassed Adam Driver for eight months whole. (Yes, he really did all that). “So fighting Danbury might have been the fourth weirdest thing I did during the pandemic.”
Oliver added that he plans to ignore “all that” until he sees the positive reviews on Deisings products, including themed baked goods for holidays like Groundhog Day and St. Patrick’s Day . However, the review that really caught her attention was the one featuring a photo of the bakery’s cake bears.
“I have good news and bad news for you,” he said, addressing the bakery owner. “The bad news is that we have already donated the Red Lobster cooking equipment. And even if it didn’t, it didn’t have the 36-inch flat top grill or kitchen convection oven you were looking for. The good news is that we are willing to purchase these items for you on one condition. All I want in return is a pastry with my face on it for sale at your bakery, specifically a bear cake with my face on it. I want to be a cake bear.
Adding that he would prefer the cake to be a decent size, much like the bear-shaped cake, Oliver then said he really wouldn’t be picky about its appearance.
“I trust your vision. As long as it fits the general description of ‘John Oliver Cake Bear,’ I’ll be more than happy,” he said. “So that’s my offer. And because I know the normal way of asking for things isn’t really your style, I wrote this offer on a piece of paper like this one that’s currently stuck on your bakery door.
He held up a handwritten note that said, “We have the equipment you’re looking for,” along with an email address to contact.
“So what do you say,” he continued. “Say yes I beg you. Please say yes, because we have already purchased the material. It is here, waiting to be delivered to you,” he said as he left his office to show two pieces of kitchen equipment that had large red bows attached to them.
“Look at that convection oven,” he said. “It’s exciting to do convection. All you have to do is simply start selling John Oliver Cake Bears. And it’s all yours. The bear is in your backyard, Deisings Bakery. …Make me a bear cake. I want to be a cake bear.
