TikTok mom influencer Cecily Bauchmann recently shared what appeared to be a sweet clip of her family singing happy birthday to her eldest daughter, 11, in front of a candle-filled cake.
While there was nothing unusual about the moment, viewers criticized the mother for what happened next – to the point that the clip was deleted – but not before others shared it with harsh observations about the birthday girl.
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The birthday girl must share her moment
A mom posting under the handle @a.shleycollins shared the clip of Cecily, which shows the 11-year-old happily blowing out her candles.
In doing so, she covers the mouth of her little sister who is standing right next to her – obviously knowing that the little girl wanted in on the candle action, but not wanting to share in her special occasion.
And although she succeeded, as soon as that moment passed, Cecily relights the candles and takes her youngest daughter to blow them out.
But that’s not all, friends.
The smile completely disappears from the birthday girl’s face… more and more when Cecily relights the candles for the younger brothers.
In total, this happens three times before the cake is even cut. Each time, we see that the 11-year-old’s heart is broken a little more.
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“It’s their birthday”
Ashley adds to the video, telling her own young son:
“If you were at someone’s birthday party and there was a cake in front of them with candles… are you supposed to blow out those candles?”
Her little voice answers: “No… Because it’s their birthday.”
Ashley agrees and says, “It ruins their special day, doesn’t it?”
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Ashley’s clip has been viewed eight million times, and many people have confirmed her opinion.
“(Cecily) had to delete it because the entire world told her what a horrible mother she was and rightly so. It was heartbreaking to see the child’s expression during the process,” one user said.
“Exactly!! The horror on my own kids faces when I showed them the video! I feel so sorry for the birthday girl,” wrote another.
And a third added: “This could be traumatic for a child if they don’t already feel special enough, as many children do, especially older ones.”
Other viewers shared that they had the same experience as children, like this person: “Yes, my parents did that, and I hated them for it.”
It seemed like a revelation to many, who had also been raised to believe it was a natural practice — including this writer, who until recently made her own son stand back and watch his cousins essentially spit on his cake while they blew out his relit candles.
Now, looking back, I realize that I was so focused on making everyone happy, watching them have fun, that I never looked at my son’s face for those brief but meaningful seconds.
I can’t really believe it.
Other parents I’ve spoken to have never considered that this practice could be harmful. I think the bottom line here is that the birthday child’s consent is rarely taken into account; so if they’re going to share their moment, we should ask them, and I’d say at least let them cut the cake first!
Originally published as The ‘traumatic’ cake act that’s ruining our kids’ birthdays
